#earthday

Editors note: To the brands that we support (you know who you are, and very soon so will all of our followers!), this article isn’t for you. We know that you live an Earth Day every day of the week! This is for the brands who have taken what could be an impactful celebration and bastardised it into a profiteering and reputational management exercise.

Like so many noble pursuits, charitable movements, and other good deeds, Earth Day was founded to raise genuine awareness for the plight of Mother Nature.

Sadly, the day dedicated to our planet and all her inhabitants is now better known as the day when marketing corner offices turn into temples of activism and their tenants into eco-warriors, campaigning for the environment by promoting pseudo-sustainable gear wrapped in cute non-plastic bags that feature “I ❤️ the planet.”

For 24 glorious hours, these corporate titans transform into self-appointed eco-saviors, dishing out discounts like solar-powered confetti at a Super Bowl parade.

They paint their websites a vibrant, energy-efficient green and turn their social media channels into a relentless onslaught of hashtags, gifs, and Earth emojis.

All this, of course, is meant to demonstrate their uncompromising commitment to our precious planet for the bargain price of… well, your consumer loyalty.

Let’s take a moment to reflect on this annual marketing circus. Earth Day, originally conceived as a meaningful occasion to raise awareness about environmental issues, has morphed into a glorified shopping spree, with Mother Nature herself being trotted out like a show pony, dressed to impress in recycled tinsel and biodegradable glitter.

But fear not, dear consumer! For every earth-friendly purchase you make on this blessed day, a tree will be planted somewhere in the distant corners of the world. Never mind that it might be a solitary sapling in a denuded forest, or that the logistics of this ambitious planting campaign remain shrouded in mystery.

Rest assured, your new bamboo toothbrush (produced in a factory that probably runs on coal) will be offset by some magical, carbon-capturing tree—just as soon as a drone drops its seed.

And let’s not forget the limited edition, Earth Day-themed merch. Who wouldn’t want an eco-friendly tote bag emblazoned with “I hugged a tree and I liked it”? Or a reusable water bottle graced with a cartoon Earth shedding a single, crystalline tear?

These one-of-a-kind items serve as badges of honor for the environmentally conscious, while giving our landfills a much-needed break from their usual diet of disposable plastics.

It’s a shame that Earth Day has become the Black Friday of environmentalism, where companies exploit our collective guilt to sell us more stuff. Instead of tackling the root of the problem, they’ve managed to commodify our concerns, turning Earth Day into a planetary clearance sale.

But hey, at least we can feel good about our purchases, knowing that we’ve saved the Earth for another year. Or at least until next Earth Day, when we’ll be bombarded once again with eco-friendly deals and slogans that promise to heal the world – one plastic-free, guilt-free, gluten-free #beach bag at a time.

So, let’s raise a (branded) biodegradable cup to corporate #greenwashing and the 24-hour environmental activism that allows us to keep our conscience clean and our wallets lighter.

After all, it’s the thought that counts, right?

𝗛𝗮𝗽𝗽𝘆 𝗕𝗶𝗿𝘁𝗵𝗱𝗮𝘆, 𝗘𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗵. 𝗪𝗲 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂… 𝗧𝗼𝗱𝗮𝘆.